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The State-Run Media

758 posts
TU’s Springfest headliner announced: your mom
Posters around campus are scratch and sniff with the sweet, comforting scent of laundry detergent. graphic by Anna Johns
Posted in Satire The State-Run Media

TU’s Springfest headliner announced: your mom

on 28 March 2022

Yes, you read correctly. Your mother will headline this year’s Springfest. Springfest is an incredibly important annual tradition on TU…

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The English and Creative Writing Department moves buildings to downtown Tulsa’s abandoned Spaghetti Warehouse
Captain Cane proudly poses in front of the grand opening to the English and Creative Writing Department's new home. graphic by Anna Johns
Posted in Satire The State-Run Media

The English and Creative Writing Department moves buildings to downtown Tulsa’s abandoned Spaghetti Warehouse

on 28 March 2022

TU surprised students and faculty with changing the center of this usually invisible department, and the consequences of this decision…

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Senior reconciles with the passage of time after freshman tells them they don’t know about True Commitment
Posted in Satire The State-Run Media

Senior reconciles with the passage of time after freshman tells them they don’t know about True Commitment

on 8 March 2022

Realizing the True Commitment controversy occurred almost three years ago, TU senior enters a state of panic over how quickly…

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Anglo-Saxton chieftain arrives at the University of Tulsa to choose a bride
Oh, bless the ole violent fella. He was so excited to take this picture. How sweet! graphic by Anna Johns
Posted in Satire The State-Run Media

Anglo-Saxton chieftain arrives at the University of Tulsa to choose a bride

on 8 March 2022

Sent from a past we cannot conceptualize, this virile warrior seeks a fertile wench with whom he can birth powerful…

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Top 5 opinions on the Ukraine invasion, according to the worst guy you know
This supposedly harbors the same amount of radiation as the Elephant's Foot in Chernobyl. Graphic by Anna Johns
Posted in Satire The State-Run Media

Top 5 opinions on the Ukraine invasion, according to the worst guy you know

on 28 February 2022

It’s hard to know what to think about the Ukraine-Russia crisis, but don’t worry. The guy in your class whose…

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Seeing campus cats temporarily allows woman to forget about the microplastics shuttling in her ovaries
Now THIS is content for the school newspaper! Alright! Hell yeah! graphic by Anna Johns
Posted in Satire The State-Run Media

Seeing campus cats temporarily allows woman to forget about the microplastics shuttling in her ovaries

on 28 February 2022

You get your fix, and I get mine. Mind your business. A heartwarming tradition of the University of Tulsa is…

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The brilliance of the technology fee
Posted in Satire The State-Run Media

The brilliance of the technology fee

on 21 February 2022

After seeing a new fee for TU attendance, most were worried. Now the truth can pacify. When many students saw…

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Horoscopes from the Collegian
Posted in Satire The State-Run Media

Horoscopes from the Collegian

on 21 February 2022

Come get your horoscopes! Aries — Aries, this week’s prediction is fortuitous! I will be living in your intestines and…

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A love letter to Sodexo
Posted in Satire The State-Run Media

A love letter to Sodexo

on 21 February 2022

Nowhere at TU can you find a more diverse culture than in the beloved Pat Case dining center. Mold. I…

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Valentine’s Day tips, as told by a man who is clearly going through something
Posted in Satire The State-Run Media

Valentine’s Day tips, as told by a man who is clearly going through something

on 14 February 2022

Valentine’s Day is so hard to navigate, and in college, it’s a whole new battlefield. We found a heterosexual man…

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