See? You’d be charming too if you weren’t on your damn phone all day. The Collins Fitness Center staff here…
Meghan and Harry get the boot
A lavish event, Meghan and Harry leave the royal family in style. Since the world is still preoccupied with ridiculous…
Horoscopes
Now that you’re a semester into the year and fresh off the high of failing all your finals, you’re probably…
TU student gives Oscar- winning performance
Jane Stephens won our hearts in her Oscar-winning role. Amid unfavorable press coverage on its liberal arts cutbacks, a bright…
Gerard Clancy and Rattus rattus
Intrepid journalist Anna Johns and Adam Walsh (the other one) uncover the cheesy truth behind the no confidence vote last…
Christmas gift tips for all your relatives
For all those tricky family members you’ve never actually met. As the semester winds down and the holiday music in…
One grande latte, hold the bureaucracy
A simple question leaves me cutting through a jungle of red tape. I’m nearly there, dear reader. Answers are hard…
Millions of emos rise from the depths of the Earth for MCR’s return
Are you excited about MCR’s return? So are all the lost and forgotten emos of the world. After breaking up…
Giuliani accidentally woos reporter, spills incriminating secrets
I think I’ve found the love of my life … and some shit about Trump. I’ve met someone. No, I’m…
Emos endure TikTok e-boy invasion
A factionalized emo group is tested by a new age of alt kids. Located in Nebraska, the Cult of Unbelievers…