Number 9 will surprise you! Here at TU, there are tons and tons of clubs and organizations to get involved…
What’s the deal with all these holes?
Holes, secret tunnels and clones of a beloved golden retriever are all strands in TU’s web of lies. If you…
Goldie to be replaced by three dogs in trench coat
Being TU’s canine ambassador is a ruff business. The State-Run Media has come across some hard hitting news and information…
Cheap dates for cheapskates
Never worry about money again with these hot date ideas. Stuck in a rut with bae? Wanting to impress that…
McFarlin is Wet with Anticipation
Beautifying campus one fountain at a time. State Run Media has been granted an exclusive preview for TU’s upcoming fountain…
Study abroad student’s life unchanged
A TU student had only a good time in France. As classes begin again and people start to settle back…
Roommate treaty broken in three days
Minor inconveniences stack up to a fight to the death. This is a chronicle of the events of room 220.…
Students feel the brunt of the blunt
Harmless plant renders hundreds of students felons. During the first day of class, President Clancy delivered a stern message regarding…
Trump eliminates term limits, has nothing to do with Cohen.
Despite baseless accusations of ulterior motives, Trump takes democracy to greater heights than ever before. In shocking news from this…
“Crazy Poor College Students” to hit theaters next week
The most undercasted demographic will hit Hollywood next week. Despite being a hardworking and attractive group, college students routinely fail…