I’m starting to feel like the CEO of Egg Inc. with the ever-growing title of wealth that I possess. But hey, it’s the sixth edition of The Weekly Yak, so welcome back if you’re returning. This week was rife with rain and pets and definitely not as much roasting as usual; we’re all tired. But luckily for us and our caffeine addictions, TU is soon to deliver on an age-old promise of opening the state’s largest Starbucks, so look forward to next week’s The Weekly Yak: the one where white people never shut up about their frappuccinos and Taylor Swift and the McFarlin Library gains the most foot traffic it’s seen in months.
It’s the calm before the storm, so enjoy the top ten posts of this week, sans Kleio, who is slowly achieving a Goldie level of fame. As always, we refrain from reusing posts that were posted in previous weeks, and ones in which graphics provide the majority of the context for the posts:
“Fall break = less stress = higher success = higher graduation rate Brad I vote to have a fall break” – Tulsa
“Idk what’s funnier, the fact there’s a TU cute frat guys page on insta or the fact that there’s no posts” – Tulsa
“It’s so satisfying seeing a post at -4 and getting to be the judge jury and executioner” – Tulsa
“1 upvote = 1 beer at Oktoberfest” – Tulsa (the author of the Yik Yak got 113 upvotes)
“REMINDER: get all your [redacted] done you need to by thursday this week if you minted on getting [redacted] up this weekend. THIS INCLUDES CLASS WORK, LAUNDRY, GROCERY SHOPPING, ETC.” – Tulsa
“Walking out of a rough exam and doing the debrief with people you’ve never spoken to before >>>” – Tulsa
“ ‘Wyd after class’ what do you think bro, i am putting on a floor-length nightgown and a big floppy hat and holding a candlestick up and saying ‘who goes there!’ ” – Tulsa
“Just took the battery out of my vibrator to use for my TI-89 #womeninstem #stemnotinwomen” – Tulsa
“If ur having a tough day just remember I signed up for pro life society accidentally cuz I thought they were just hyped about life in general” – Tulsa
“Ladies imagine: it’s 15 years from now. Your husband still has a mild coke addiction from his Lambda Chi days. Your kids Brad and Keightlynn both got held back for being illiterate. Keightlynn called you a [redacted] last night bcuz you wouldn’t let her use her iPad20 at dinner. Life is good.” – Tulsa
I, the author of The Weekly Yak, am a simple homebody, and did not go to Oktoberfest, Starry Night or even the Tulsa State Fair. Do me a favor and continue to dramatically express your opinion of every single event hosted in the city or on campus. People really do care. And I just love dramatic content. Here are my top picks for the week:
“Just wait till you discover the US congress” – Tulsa (in response to “Not understanding how the head coach is getting paid over a million dollars and the team still sucks” – Tulsa)
“From being an academic weapon, to an academic victim in the span of a month #[redacted]midterms” – Tulsa
“Rate My Professor is the closest thing students have to unionization” – Tulsa
“The day i delete quizlet for good will be the day I’m truly free” – Tulsa
“The workload this year has me wondering if they misread my application” – Tulsa
Do you want your Yaks to be featured next week on The Collegian? Be funny. Make Hannah laugh. That rarely happens.
