My dearest loyal subjects (of voting age), It is my great pleasure to announce the State-Run Media’s 2020 presidential endorsement.…
Ten ways the 2020 Super Bowl could be more “memorable” than last year’s
After last year’s boring game, Super Bowl LIV has a lot to prove. Super Bowl LIII was the worst iteration…
Campus cats at record low popularity
Some TU students just can’t seem to handle the sexiness of these cats. The polls are in, and the results…
Not just kneecappings! Five fun, DIY ways to dodge the draft
DIY yourself out of having to die in a war you don’t agree with! With all that silly stuff with…
Collins Fitness Center churns out charismatic co-eds
See? You’d be charming too if you weren’t on your damn phone all day. The Collins Fitness Center staff here…
Meghan and Harry get the boot
A lavish event, Meghan and Harry leave the royal family in style. Since the world is still preoccupied with ridiculous…
Horoscopes
Now that you’re a semester into the year and fresh off the high of failing all your finals, you’re probably…
TU student gives Oscar- winning performance
Jane Stephens won our hearts in her Oscar-winning role. Amid unfavorable press coverage on its liberal arts cutbacks, a bright…
Gerard Clancy and Rattus rattus
Intrepid journalist Anna Johns and Adam Walsh (the other one) uncover the cheesy truth behind the no confidence vote last…
Christmas gift tips for all your relatives
For all those tricky family members you’ve never actually met. As the semester winds down and the holiday music in…