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Look, I enjoy yoga, not butts
Posted in State-Run

Look, I enjoy yoga, not butts

on 11 September 201724 September 2017

Noted male, Sam Beckmann, explains how his enjoyment of yoga has nothing to do with looking at womens’ posteriors.

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College student receives life advice from estranged childhood friend
Posted in State-Run

College student receives life advice from estranged childhood friend

on 11 September 201724 September 2017

A TU student has recently become reacquainted with an old ‘friend’ with a wealth of prophetic advice.

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World forgets threat of nuclear holocaust because OMG there’s going to be a new royal baby
Posted in State-Run

World forgets threat of nuclear holocaust because OMG there’s going to be a new royal baby

on 11 September 201724 September 2017

Royal fetus saves humanity from nuclear war.

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Lawn company hands out free .50Cal rifle with every cleared gutter
Posted in State-Run

Lawn company hands out free .50Cal rifle with every cleared gutter

on 6 September 201724 September 2017

Local lawn service company, Cutting Edge, offers an anti-material sniper rifle with one of their lawncare packages.

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How to prove you are the alpha male to your teachers
Posted in State-Run

How to prove you are the alpha male to your teachers

on 6 September 201724 September 2017

Assert your dominance by following the State-Run’s guide on how to be the alpha male in any classroom.

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Canned DOJ officials form boy band
Posted in State-Run

Canned DOJ officials form boy band

on 6 September 201724 September 2017

The State-Run gives you the low-down on the three former Trump administrators who have recently been expressing their consternation to…

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Letter from the Propagandist
Posted in State-Run

Letter from the Propagandist

on 28 August 201730 August 2017

Hello, and welcome back students, faculty and any other slubs that read our prestigious publication. I hope you all had…

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What upperclassmen are really saying (a guide to slang on campus)
Posted in State-Run

What upperclassmen are really saying (a guide to slang on campus)

on 28 August 201724 September 2017

State-Run writer Madison Connell compliles a guide of TU-specific nicknames and slang on campus.

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How to write a Christian rock song in 5 easy steps
Posted in State-Run

How to write a Christian rock song in 5 easy steps

on 28 August 201724 September 2017

Former Christian rock performer Sam Harrell shares the biggest industry secrets for professional Christian rock musical composition.

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Quiz: Can you be the State-Run Editor?
Posted in State-Run

Quiz: Can you be the State-Run Editor?

on 27 April 2017

Take this fun quiz to figure out if you can be the State-Run Editor.

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