I recently attended the weekly Collegian meeting, which takes place at 5 p.m. in Oliphant hall every Monday, to bring you, readers of the State-Run Media, a completely unbiased take on how the news is manufactured at the University of Tulsa.
As the meeting began, dejected writers filtered in, taking seats on overstuffed couches spread throughout the room and making smalltalk with those also unfortunate enough to be in attendance. Finally, several minutes late and in a tone much too pleasant for a state-run newspaper, Managing Editor Fraser Kastner informed all of the writers that they needed to fill out some paperwork to be paid for their articles. Personally, this reviewer was appalled by the idea of citizens being paid to perform good journalism, but some part of me is holding out hope that these forms were merely a ruse to steal employee information.
After that business was concluded, Editor-in-Chief Giselle Willis announced that the meeting would largely be split into three sections. In the first section, both satire and news would be holding caucus. As much as I would have enjoyed insulting those who stayed in the news section in an attempt to bring back “journalistic integrity” (whatever that means), I could not miss the opportunity to attend a glorious satire meeting. The satire section was absolutely delightful! Not only did we talk about [REDACTED] and [REDACTED], we even discussed plans for [REDACTED], led by our glorious leader, [REDACTED]. It was not a meeting to be missed.
After that experience, the entire staff reconvened for commentary. Now, I often take issue with the commentary section, as any outlet by which ordinary citizens can express discontent with the system is inherently dangerous, but I was pleasantly surprised by this particular meeting. Not only were there a list of available stories to write about on the board, which reduces the chance some maverick will go off on his own writing about some delicate topic, but the stories were often presented with a strong bias towards one side. I admit that I may have underestimated the power of commentary. By using psychological manipulation, it seems indeed possible to get individuals to write passionate articles furthering our objectives, while having them believe the ideas were of their own creation. I will have to keep a close eye on this….
Finally, the last section of the meeting was split between sports and variety. Normally, I would simply zone-out from discussions about ultimately meaningless forms of cultural expression and entertainment, but Variety Editor Abigail LaBounty caught my attention. She had a wonderful habit of calling out specific individuals to write articles for her, and constantly harassing them until they accepted her offer. There’s certainly a potential for leadership in her, forcing other people to her will. I’ll have to mark that in her file.
Now that all of you are familiar with the grueling process of sitting through the weekly Collegian meeting, I invite you all to attend next week’s meeting, at 5 p.m. Monday night, Oliphant Hall, room 110. Seriously, be there. We’ll know if you aren’t, and there will be consequences.