Aries (March 20-April 19th): Orion’s belt dips ever to the West, putting you in your masculine energy…. or am I…
Horoscopes
Aries (March 20-April 19th): Yeah, yeah, my job is so easy, right? Well I don’t care, I still don’t want…
SGA’s annual sheep throwing competition cancelled
Due to pressure from animal rights groups, the student body president will be chosen via election this year. Since the…
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Aries (March 20-April 19th): The stars predict an important decision in your life this week. Your choice will determine whether…
Horoscopes
Aries (March 20-April 19th): As you return to life as a student, be wary of the dark energy coming off…
Reckless display of power: local badass not even wearing a coat
“I’m not even cold,” boasts nonchalant new King of Sex Ladies, hold onto your panties and fellas, try not to…
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Aries (March 20-April 19th): You guys really didn’t know about Bubba? It must be so weird not having clairvoyance, I’ve…
Democrats move to put government in rice after turning off, on again fails
Consultant Roy Trenneman at Reynholm Industries explains reasons for failure. After turning the government off for a record-breaking 42 days,…
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Aries (March 20-April 19th): I don’t care what the editors say; I’m abusing the semicolon key till it breaks off…
Chair moved in Starbucks: 5 deaf 12 injured
Hurricane health center overwhelmed with burst-eardrum cases. FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 7th, paramedics arrived at the University of Tulsa’s Starbucks franchise in…