With the recent addition of a Starbucks, there are now three places on campus to buy coffee, discounting the Caf,…
Letter from the Propagandist: Endorsement of Trump
As avid readers of our paper will know, the State-Run Media has never endorsed a candidate before. At least, after…
Why isn’t the FBI investigating us?
In July, the FBI announced it had finished its investigation and would recommend no charges against Clinton for her use…
Cubs fans sad they no longer feel special
History has been made. The Cubs have finally broken a 108 year streak of consistent mediocrity that statisticians were calling…
Virtual security and you: How to stay cyber safe and e-sound
1. Make sure you keep your computer in a safe place. When people think cyber security, they very seldom think…
A helpful list of politically correct costumes
1. I hope this has been a helpful and informative guide to politically correct costumes!
Which Halloween costumes are OK for me to wear?
With all the hubbub around “politically-correct costumes” this Halloween, you’re probably wondering just what is and what isn’t acceptable to…
Top 10 sexy costumes
Sexy Halloween costumes are a decades old tradition on college campuses. Every year, frat parties are flooded with sexy maids,…
5 last-minute costumes to turn this paper into
1. Sailor – Through a series of strategic folds, you can turn this paper into a sailor hat. To really…
Spooky cocktails to drink alone
It’s about that time of year, again. No, not that time of year, I’m talking about Halloween. It’s time to…