An underground crime ring trades food for homework in this breaking news coverage. Something sinister is growing underneath the surface…
Batty new residents arrive on campus
Resident bats push for equal rights amid evictions from campus dorms. Current reports say that homeless bats are trying to…
Weeding out the inebriates
Campus Security officers develop new surefire methods to catch potheads in the act. Amid changes in state legislation and a…
Quiz: how much debt you gonna have?
A 100-percent accurate calculation for how deep of a hole you are digging. Where did you sleep? 1. Lol, sleep?…
Top 10 best secret clubs to join on campus
Number 9 will surprise you! Here at TU, there are tons and tons of clubs and organizations to get involved…
What’s the deal with all these holes?
Holes, secret tunnels and clones of a beloved golden retriever are all strands in TU’s web of lies. If you…
Goldie to be replaced by three dogs in trench coat
Being TU’s canine ambassador is a ruff business. The State-Run Media has come across some hard hitting news and information…
Cheap dates for cheapskates
Never worry about money again with these hot date ideas. Stuck in a rut with bae? Wanting to impress that…
McFarlin is Wet with Anticipation
Beautifying campus one fountain at a time. State Run Media has been granted an exclusive preview for TU’s upcoming fountain…
Study abroad student’s life unchanged
A TU student had only a good time in France. As classes begin again and people start to settle back…