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State-Run creates virtual assistant “That Bitch!”
graphic by Conner Maggio
Posted in State-Run

State-Run creates virtual assistant “That Bitch!”

on 1 October 20182 October 2018

Move over Siri and Alexa, there’s a new bitch in town. The creators of the State-Run (Social) Media and Dating…

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Sexy advice for your sexy life
Posted in State-Run

Sexy advice for your sexy life

on 1 October 20182 October 2018

Try these tips at your own risk… of pleasure. Are you and your loved one having trouble in the bedroom?…

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Campo arrests student for phallic object
Campus Security officers unsure what a dildo is. graphic by Conner Maggio
Posted in State-Run

Campo arrests student for phallic object

on 25 September 201826 September 2018

TU student 3D prints a mysterious device in Stephenson. A TU student has been arrested on suspicion of attempting to…

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Student ID anointed with Holy Number
The cult of the chosen ID during a ritual sacrifice. graphic by Conner Maggio
Posted in State-Run

Student ID anointed with Holy Number

on 25 September 201826 September 2018

A TU student has come out in protest of what she calls a “cruel joke” against her. Freshman Renee Lorenz…

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Is Pluto t h i c c enough?
Posted in State-Run

Is Pluto t h i c c enough?

on 25 September 201827 September 2018

Curvy celebrities weigh in on Pluto’s planetary status. Pluto was stripped of its planet status years ago, a decision established…

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Targeted ads single out singles, damage self-esteem
Posted in State-Run

Targeted ads single out singles, damage self-esteem

on 17 September 201818 September 2018

Russians send targeted ads to prey on this under-reproducing population. Targeted ads really suck, man. I have never bought even…

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Wingman targeted ads score me a date
Posted in State-Run

Wingman targeted ads score me a date

on 17 September 201818 September 2018

Who needs privacy when you have Ben & Jerry’s? If it weren’t for targeted ads, I am not sure how…

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Fallin’s final fail
Mary "Kobe" Fallin pulls up for a jump shot. Graphic by Conner Maggio
Posted in State-Run

Fallin’s final fail

on 17 September 201818 September 2018

Mary Fallin’s final mission is to see just how low she can drag Oklahoma with her as she leaves office.…

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Great British Porno
Posted in State-Run

Great British Porno

on 17 September 201818 September 2018

The newest season of The Great British Baking Show piqued the interest of many top porn companies. Your bag of…

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Hashtags spell out end of the world
Posted in State-Run

Hashtags spell out end of the world

on 17 September 201818 September 2018

The end of the world shows people’s true colors as they post their last hashtag. Bruce sat alone in his…

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