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743 posts
Lady Doritos: a victory for feminism
Ruffles' new “Lady Ruffles” product promises to please. Graphic by Madeline Woods
Posted in State-Run

Lady Doritos: a victory for feminism

on 12 February 2018

In response to Frito-Lay’s breakthrough new product line, other big companies are announcing lady-specific products. As a woman, I often…

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According to my star chart, we’re supposed to fuck
Conner Maggio showing off his star chart. Graphic by Madeline Woods
Posted in State-Run

According to my star chart, we’re supposed to fuck

on 12 February 2018

I always thought that when we met, the stars aligned. As it turns out, so did the planets. Now, I…

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Eye contact deemed micro-cheating in new study
Posted in State-Run

Eye contact deemed micro-cheating in new study

on 12 February 2018

A group of infidelity experts published research on the hazards that eye contact with a platonic friend can have on…

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What students really do in on-campus  bathrooms
A student walking out of the Chick-Fil-A bathroom. Graphic by Madeline Woods
Posted in State-Run

What students really do in on-campus bathrooms

on 5 February 2018

Get the most out of your bathroom visits across campus by thinking outside the stall. Oliphant, third floor: cry. The…

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Cleveland Indians to replace Chief Wahoo with more racist logo
I wanted to show you a photo of the new logo but it was deemed inappropriate. Graphic by Adam Lux
Posted in State-Run

Cleveland Indians to replace Chief Wahoo with more racist logo

on 5 February 2018

Fans speculate over what the baseball team’s new, even more racist, logo will be. People have long worried that the…

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TU run by secret society of campus cats
Posted in State-Run

TU run by secret society of campus cats

on 5 February 2018

A club of square and sushi-loving cats are the true puppeteers of TU’s day-to-day operations, according to Wilson Mann. To…

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Google’s Arts & Culture app lacks class
Posted in State-Run

Google’s Arts & Culture app lacks class

on 5 February 2018

TU undesirable used a recent update to the Google Arts & Culture app, which matches their face to a famous…

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Bruno Mars wins every award possible because he deserves them
Posted in State-Run

Bruno Mars wins every award possible because he deserves them

on 5 February 2018

The R&B singer wins a Nobel Prize, Fields Medal and the Women’s Caucus for Art Lifetime Achievement award. In light…

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Super blue blood moon rituals discovered
Super blue blood moon not even in its final form. Graphic by Adam Lux
Posted in State-Run

Super blue blood moon rituals discovered

on 5 February 20185 February 2018

Researchers detail ancient blood moon rituals completed by past cultures. Anthropologists have discovered images depicted in ancient Mayan temples, and…

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New TU weekly email greeted with excitement
Posted in State-Run

New TU weekly email greeted with excitement

on 5 February 2018

Most rejoice but some complain as TU launches new weekly email “A Look at TU Last Week.” A video released…

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