I always thought that when we met, the stars aligned. As it turns out, so did the planets. Now, I…
Eye contact deemed micro-cheating in new study
A group of infidelity experts published research on the hazards that eye contact with a platonic friend can have on…
What students really do in on-campus bathrooms
Get the most out of your bathroom visits across campus by thinking outside the stall. Oliphant, third floor: cry. The…
Cleveland Indians to replace Chief Wahoo with more racist logo
Fans speculate over what the baseball team’s new, even more racist, logo will be. People have long worried that the…
TU run by secret society of campus cats
A club of square and sushi-loving cats are the true puppeteers of TU’s day-to-day operations, according to Wilson Mann. To…
Google’s Arts & Culture app lacks class
TU undesirable used a recent update to the Google Arts & Culture app, which matches their face to a famous…
Bruno Mars wins every award possible because he deserves them
The R&B singer wins a Nobel Prize, Fields Medal and the Women’s Caucus for Art Lifetime Achievement award. In light…
Super blue blood moon rituals discovered
Researchers detail ancient blood moon rituals completed by past cultures. Anthropologists have discovered images depicted in ancient Mayan temples, and…
New TU weekly email greeted with excitement
Most rejoice but some complain as TU launches new weekly email “A Look at TU Last Week.” A video released…
Tide launches adult-proof packaging
With written and verbal warnings not being an adequate deterrent for curious nibblers, Tide Pods now test mental fitness before…