Looking back at the highlights of Governor Kevin Stitt’s impressive first term in office, I chose my personal favorites. When…
University installing mandatory gun use training because ‘you’re on your own’
The training was accompanied by new policy encouraging all students to strap up. As it does every fall, the university…
Sororities pledge to better support brunettxs
TU Panhellenic Council pledges to work towards a future with more hair color diversity, frats protest. Ever working towards a…
Okay, but which religion is right?
First-year student getting confused as to which campus ministry group they need to join to avoid eternal damnation. Picture this:…
Best and worst study spots on campus
As the esteemed satire editor at The Collegian, I would like to welcome all first-year students to our quirky little…
A love letter to Sodexo
Nowhere at TU can you find a more diverse culture than in the beloved Pat Case dining center. Mold. I…
I found myself studying abroad
And I have found that I am better than you. I know that this sounds cliche but now that I’m…
Only a gun can stop Jake Gyllenhaal
I used to believe in gun control. Then Jake Gyllenhaal didn’t visit Taylor Swift on her birthday. This has been…
Ethical landlord dots the ‘i’s in his eviction notices with little hearts
Free will? You get that for free? My landlord charges, like, $80 for not following the Oracle of Delphi. Liberals…
No, no, you misunderstand. I committed tax fraud as a joke.
I don’t know why everyone is making such a big deal out of this. It was sarcastic. Jesus, nobody knows…