Historic statement marks most information ever disclosed at once on presidential search. In a shocking press release this Friday, the…
U.S. Plans to win World Cup with AI, Deportations
ChatGPT soothes players’ qualms over the sportsmanship of detaining opponents. Soccer’s biggest event is coming to the United States for…
Horoscopes
Aries (March 20-April 19th): The lunar cycle aligns with Saturn’s orbit. Try new things and push your comfort zone this…
What is Rick Dickson hiding under that hat?
Is it mere male-pattern baldness, or does something sinister lurk beneath? With Interim President Rick Dickson’s era of being a…
Horoscopes
Aries (March 20-April 19th): Orion’s belt dips ever to the West, putting you in your masculine energy…. or am I…
Updates on my ‘stalking victim’ – Valentine’s Day edition
New year, new him — maybe this year he’ll see we’re meant to be. “The rainy Pleiads wester, Orion plunges…
Horoscopes
Aries (March 20-April 19th): Yeah, yeah, my job is so easy, right? Well I don’t care, I still don’t want…
SGA’s annual sheep throwing competition cancelled
Due to pressure from animal rights groups, the student body president will be chosen via election this year. Since the…
Woke-ism strikes again
Students forego igloo land acknowledgement, now it’s melting. What will leftists come for next? After promoting the great hoax of…
What was Gus T. doing with Jeffrey Epstein in 1987?
Recently published files reveal TU mascot had history with Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein. Inside of the trove of the…