When it comes to cookies, Clinton trounces Trump

In a cookie contest traditionally entered by presidential candidate’s spouses, Bill Clinton’s oatmeal chocolate chip cookies far exceed Melania Trump’s star cookies. The year was 1992. The Cold War had officially ended, the space Shuttle Endeavor made its first flight, and Hillary Clinton said, “I suppose I could have stayed home and baked cookies and […]

Twenty-One Plus

Nutty Bee’s Knees honey 2 ½ oz. dry gin 1 oz. amaretto ¾ oz. honey syrup* ½ oz. lemon juice optional: 3 drops each of almond and lemon extracts nutmeg almond *Honey syrup: Pour boiling water over an equal amount of honey and stir until dissolved. Drizzle honey into a martini glass in a spiral […]

Paranormal activity feared on campus

In a turn of events that defies logic and reason, dog poop has appeared in the courtyard of Lorton Village, a supposedly pet-free apartment complex. The State-Run Media has responded to reports in an attempt to get to the bottom of this. “I just don’t see how this could happen.” said Tanisha Wells, a resident. […]

TU’s opening Symphony Orchestra production a hit

On Monday, October 26, TU’s school of music had the opening symphony orchestra production of the season. Every year, the school of music has a calendar full of events, from September to April. “Unless specified otherwise, all performances [on the School of Music calendar] are held in the Lorton Performance Center and are free and […]

Trump unfit for office

Perhaps no candidate this election cycle has received more media attention than Donald Trump. Often the coverage has been negative, and rightly so. This criticism usually takes one of two forms. First, there are his policies. His policies are a part of no coherent ideology and are often at odds with the facts. Second, there […]

The Prophet: from poem to big screen

The Prophet is an animated film adapted from author Kahlil Gibran’s 1923 collection of poems. Gibran is considered the mastermind behind one of the most influential works of the 20th century. Salma Hayek is actually the producer of this film adaptation, with director Roger Allers— director of The Lion King—by her side. The film features […]