Aries (March 20-April 19th): You guys really didn’t know about Bubba? It must be so weird not having clairvoyance, I’ve…
Democrats move to put government in rice after turning off, on again fails
Consultant Roy Trenneman at Reynholm Industries explains reasons for failure. After turning the government off for a record-breaking 42 days,…
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Aries (March 20-April 19th): I don’t care what the editors say; I’m abusing the semicolon key till it breaks off…
Chair moved in Starbucks: 5 deaf 12 injured
Hurricane health center overwhelmed with burst-eardrum cases. FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 7th, paramedics arrived at the University of Tulsa’s Starbucks franchise in…
Horoscopes
Aries (March 20-April 19th): The stars are aligned for you Aries! You’re on top of the world this week; no…
Horoscopes
Aries (March 20-April 19th): I can’t lie, this week is gonna be rough. Your chakras are all due to lock…
TU to receive 100% of power from Professor Drever, elliptical by 2027
Budget slashes force professor and associate dean to take on third position as power source. Gym-going students at the University…
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Aries (March 20-April 19th): A rare astral event, All Hallow’s Eve will fall on a Friday, or Freya’s Day this…
Horoscopes
Aries (March 20-April 19th): The stars foresee deception: do not trust the 60° weather you feel at 8 AM, it…
2025 Homecoming Bonfire to be cardboard cutout
Administration awaits students’ gratitude for selfless decision to promote safety and lower carbon emissions. This Saturday, Oct. 18, administration at…